That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
