Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
