Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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