I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
