There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
