The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
