well most of my day revolves around power hour
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize