Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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