Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's like a pop up book from hell.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
