You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
