I must be too annoying 4 u.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
