She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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