Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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