One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
