that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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