It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
