The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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