SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize