At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
