I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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