I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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