we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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