a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
