On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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