I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
