Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
