You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
