We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
