Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
