the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
