I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
