I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
pray to the hookup gods
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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