I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize