it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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