sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've blown a few things in my day
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
