**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
