thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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