No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
