I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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