There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
