everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So many bounce houses so little time
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
