good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
