Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
