I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
