It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
