I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
