he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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