remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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