I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize