how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
