; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
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