When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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