It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
