I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
