I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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