So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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