Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
