ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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