I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize