I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
