That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
