It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
