Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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