actually, I'm a sock model
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
