so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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