Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
