Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
