Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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