My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize