I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
