i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am one with the molecules
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
